Spiritual counsellor Marinus van den Berg will give a reflection at our opening ceremony on 21 June. Marinus van den Berg is a chaplain in a hospice in Rotterdam. As a pastor himself, he guides people from very diverse backgrounds. Multicultural, of another religion or no religion: he tries to help people deal with death in an honest, but also loving way.

The working title of his reflection is: ‘When everything slows down, silence listens.’ In the near future, we will publish a number of his pieces that he sent us in 2014. Below are his ́Walk of Wisdom ́ from Wijchen to Afferden, partly about the route of our route.  

A walk of wisdom

“A narrow road inevitably leads to a wide…” Confucius

I read the thought of this Chinese philosopher on the return journey at the station of Den Bosch among all kinds of news – as the archdiocese acknowledges the abuse by mgr. Nienhaus – after Jo Gijsen, another bishop in the pillory. To many he was that gentle, warm-hearted good John, beloved. It’s the Friday after Easter 2014 and the Netherlands is getting in the mood for the first King’s Day. In the castle of Wijchen – where the tourist office would be located – preparations were underway for the traditional rain of ribbons. For people who make themselves subservient, of impeccable conduct, although no one will be without sin. But not all sins are the same.

A friendly hostess at the city office gave me a map and so I could start a few hours on foot on mainly narrow roads, avoiding wide roads, on my way to Bergharen. There I hoped to visit the Mountain Chapel with Stations of the Cross by the ceramist Maris in the forest around the Lady Chapel. On the way on the train, I had time to think about some conversations with two men. Their loved ones are dying. They suffer differently but no less. Their love is great, but so is their powerlessness. I thought of Vasalis’ words and came up with a variation: even the cutting, the being cut off, hurts. Then there’s that amputation pain, that phantom limb pain in the scar, that remains.  Like a tattoo that reminds us of the loss.

Wijchen – known for its many monasteries – has many new housing estates. After half an hour I go through a tunnel and enter a rural avenue. I smell the cow parsley and hear the birds. They accompany me almost all the way. I walk a piece of homeland unknown to me in the area of Maas and Waal.  I had never heard of Leur, but the monks were already there around 1320 and there is now a Protestant church with frescoes of (Catholic) saints. In the information centre of the Geldersch Landschap I get the key for 1 euro.  The baptismal font and the Tablet are from centuries ago. There are daffodils on the tombstones, especially from the last and this century. It’s the week after Easter. There is so much to see, to hear, to feel, to smell that I can cry at this spring beauty on this summer-like day.

With a more detailed itinerary I continue my way after the church visit and the coffee break. I hear the woodpecker and the echo in the forest. On my way to Hernen I pass a care farm: ‘de Meerenburgh’. They have been around for five years and have a nice leaflet with beautiful language. I’m walking in a Lordship. It’s idyllic. Healthcare is small-scale. Will the pain of handicapped old age be easier to bear here? Will dying in this paradisiacal environment be lighter? In any case, you have to be able to contribute enough money. It is a private enterprise. I find myself increasingly worried about the poor parent with a small budget. Soon the first “elderly people’s clap” will have to be opened somewhere, just as I saw a “babyklappe” in Germany, a revolving awning for desperate mothers to leave their babies behind. 

All these thoughts run through my mind, while I enjoy this area with its castles and manors, with its yellow fields full of rapeseed and its winding paths.  Maybe the awareness of finitude makes me enjoy it even more intensely, but I know that you enter a different compartment when death has been announced to you, when death has been announced to a very loved one. Your way can be like a trip through mud. Excruciatingly slow and tiring.  Your enjoyment can get a damper that filters all the light. 

In the Lady Chapel of the Judocus Church in Hernen I find a program from the past winter. Three evenings about the finiteness of life. People watched the film Amour about love and poor care, a theologian who knew about farewell, letting go, dying and dancing and a general practitioner who  , referring to Piet Lommel, wondered whether everything will come to an end.

After the castle and a piece of forest  in the distance, closer than expected, I see two proud church towers above the treetops of the forest. I feel my feet, but it’s still a short walk to the pilgrimage site of Our Lady of Need of God – who is in need –  where the Kapelberg is with the Stations of the Cross. The expression in the faces touches me. I go from station to station and write in my diary what comes to mind.

The local bus, which runs from Monday to Friday, stops at the primary school. The children are already wearing the orange shirt of the King’s Games. I just hope that they are safe at home, at school or anywhere else, that there is no bullying, that they experience what makes life worth living. I’m the only passenger. A strange passer-by returning to the city in the west after a one-day trip.” I didn’t like the mentality there as much,” said an employee of the information center.

You can opt for easy comfort, but also for the question of some comfort and resilience Gives when life is not so obvious. Going slowly over the narrow roads inspires me to be with those who are looking for dignity and meaning in life on the seemingly broad roads. Was it a pilgrimage or a walk of wisdom? Or a shame because of the abuse stories…..?

Marinus van den Berg  

Documentation: 

• Geldersch Landschap and Geldersche  castles, 6 beautiful hiking trails Leur-Hernen-Bergharen
• De Meerenburgh, Private Residential Care Facility, website www.meerenburgh.nl
• You can sign up for our special opening ceremony via this link. The ceremony is free, but space is limited.
• More information about Marinus van den Berg:  click here