“A pilgrim forever” – report by Ria van Laarhoven
Then the time has finally come: April 29, 2024, the start of my stubborn walk!
I’ve had the book and the shoelace for 5 years now, but there’s always something that prevents me from starting my pilgrimage.
The informal care for my mother, my sister-in-law who is not doing well.
And Mr. van den Broek who I really can’t leave behind.
Sadly, all three have passed away.
I need time for myself.
Processing, but also finding peace again.
No angry world around me for a while.
No news and no war.
Don’t worry.
I did this 7 years ago, when I was on the road for 6 weeks.
Camino Santiago de Compostela.
2 years after my husband’s death.
Even then I had to let go, alone with my own raw sadness.
And just like now with a phone where only 4 people have the number who are only allowed to call or app me if there is really no other option.
I didn’t contact anyone at the time.
1x a week a message that I was still there.
Now I give a thumbs up every night that all is well.
And yes I wondered if I still dared to go alone, then I had the idea that the worst had already happened to me.
I start in Weurt.
Spend the night with friends on their bikes.
I go there on Sunday evening, to be able to start early on Monday.
How lucky I am with the weather.
It has been raining for weeks and from this Monday there is suddenly the sun.
That’s a good feeling.
I’m going to walk the whole stretch in 6 days, with everything I need in my backpack.
I enjoyed it so much, but I also suffered so much. The distances were quite long and I had to go to my sleeping address of course.
But it was so worth it.
What a wonderful journey you have set out.
With everything in it. Beauty, heaviness, solitude and tranquility.
I’ve been back to myself for a while.
Hang a backpack on it and put on hiking boots and I can take on the whole world.
I have met very few pilgrims. Maybe it was too early in the year.
But it was all right.
Especially discovering that I still like myself enough to be alone for a whole week.
They call it charging. Being able to be close to those who are no longer with us. Being able to be 100% yourself.
Full of gratitude, I return to “normal” life.
To see again that I have a good life.
With people who care a lot about me and care a lot.
The loneliness I have felt since my husband passed away will always be part of me.
But life is definitely worth living.
You have to want to see it and want to move on. You are responsible for this.
By trial and error.
With the obligation to those who are no longer with us and to those who wish me so much happiness and are still around me.
Dear greeting from a pilgrim forever
Ria van Laarhoven
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